


Let Me Be Brave (you already are)

by VICTORKISSEDYURRI



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Galra Keith (Voltron), Gen, Introspection, Keith's mum, POV Keith (Voltron), Sad Keith (Voltron), Team as Family, keith has suffered so much and i'm making him suffer more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-19 12:12:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9439883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VICTORKISSEDYURRI/pseuds/VICTORKISSEDYURRI
Summary: Keith had always been prepared to die for this but now all he wanted to do was live. He wanted to see a beach for the first time, wanted to be on earth and watch the stars while carrying the secret, satisfying knowledge that he had been among them and done great things – but maybe that was asking for much more than the universe could offer.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I was drunk ((again)) when I wrote this. Do I have a drinking problem? Maybe. But do I work rly hard to give up the bad habit? No.   
> Enjoy this work of pure 'I-don't-even-know-sorry-it's-probably-bad' fic written by yrs truly x

_Let me be brave_ , he whispered, the blood in his throat cutting off his voice, _let me be brave._

“Keith, my Keith, you’ve done so well, you’ve fought so hard. I’m so proud. You shouldn’t have had to, but you’ve fought _so_ hard.”

“Mum?”

She smiled and it hurt to see, hurt to know he hadn’t been able to see such a thing in better circumstances. For a brief moment, Keith thought of seeing that smile at all his birthdays, his first day at the Garrison, his graduation – but Keith had never been one the world, the universe, favoured.

“Am I,” Keith licked his lips, tasting blood on his teeth when he sucked in air, “am I dead?”

“Half-way there,” she said.

“What chance do I have, then?”

She laughed, “What chance? No, baby, it’s what _choice_.”

What choice? Die peacefully or die with a mouthful of blood, die beside his mother or die surrounded by war and ruin, by pain and suffering. _By hope and friends_ , a voice inside his head whispered fiercely, _what better way is there to die, child?_

It was so close to the end and Keith was so tired.

“It isn’t fair,” Keith said and for that moment he wasn’t a Paladin, he wasn’t a defender of the universe, he wasn’t a brave hero – he was just a little boy, unsure if there was any magic left in the world, “I never – I didn’t ask for this. I should have gotten more. I deserve more.”

“Maybe,” his mother said, “but fate is hard to escape. No-one, wan or woman, brave or coward, can run from their fate forever.”

Hadn’t Keith always been running, though? Shouldn’t he have left fate behind in a cloud of dust in his first foster home? Or in his second? Or third? Fate should have given up by now. But the world, the universe, had never favoured him. Even when he had prayed and begged to the stars – the stars didn’t like beggars and you cannot rationalise with exploding, burning, dying things.

“I die either way,” Keith said, “it doesn’t matter how.”

“Of course, it matters, my love, it makes all the difference in the universe.”

“I’m not ready,” he whispered, voice raw with unshed tears that were itching at the back of his throat, “I’m not ready.”

“No-one ever is,” his mother soothed, “but you’ve been so amazing, my little boy, you’ve been so brave.”

“I’m scared.”

“Then be scared. Be scared and do it anyway. Bravery isn’t being fearless, fearless is being stupid. No, no, bravery is being terrified but doing the right thing anyway. My sweet baby, giving you up was the hardest decision I ever had to make. Sometimes, we have to die for things, even when we don’t want to – especially when we don’t want to.”

Keith had always been prepared to die for this but now all he wanted to do was live. He wanted to see a beach for the first time, wanted to be on earth and watch the stars while carrying the secret, satisfying knowledge that he had been among them and done great things – but maybe that was asking for much more than the universe could offer.

He tried to reach out for his mother but once again found himself in the cockpit of his Red Lion, the ringing of his mother’s haunting in his ears. Around him, Red purred. She knew what he would do and would offer whatever comfort she could. _Together_ , Keith thought, _right till the end_.

“Keith! KEITH.”

“I’m here, Lance.” Keith said, feeling older than he was.

“Dude,” the other boy laughed, “I thought we lost you for a minute.”

“You wish,” Keith snorted.

Lance scowled and – _wow_ , why had it taken Keith so long to notice how fond that look was, how much care he held in his face?

It was too late for that, though.

But Keith felt compelled to say, “We were good, weren’t we? Like, I mean, it was good, wasn’t it? This thing, this whole thing.”

“You say in the middle of a war,” Pidge laughed.

“You hit your heard there, Galra Keith?” Hunk asked.

Shiro didn’t say anything, Keith couldn’t bring himself to blame him. Who in the entire universe knew him better?

Keith shook his head, “I mean, it was fun.”

“Saving the universe?” Lance asked and, ever the optimist, said, “we haven’t done that yet, well, give us an hour or so.”

“No, I mean the little things. The friend thing. The family thing. I – I’d never done that before. I’m glad I was able to do that with all of you.”

“Keith?” Hunk laughed nervously, “why does this sound an awful lot like a goodbye?”

“Whatever you’re planning,” Shiro bit out, “ _don’t_.”

“I’ll blow the whole thing up,” Keith said, “Zarkon, Lotor, their entire army. Red and I can do it. We’ll light it up from the inside.”

“You’ll die!” Pidge shrieked.

Keith laughed, “I know. But sometimes we have to die for things.”

“Don’t do this,” Lance’s voice sounded muffled, as if he were covering it with his hands, “don’t you fucking do this, Kogane, don’t play the martyr just because you think you’re better than everybody. Don’t – fuck, we’re so close and – “

“And what?” Keith snapped, “let this battle drag on until we’re all killed? I’m here, Lance, I’m here and I need to do this.”

“Don’t, God, just, just don’t – leave me. Us.”

Lance sounded so human Keith suddenly remembered that was all they were (well, maybe Keith less so than the rest of them but still). Human teenagers who belonged on earth, not in space, not as dead heroes. No, _they_ belonged on earth. Keith had never belonged, not really.  

They were all screaming at him; Allura, Coran, Pidge, Hunk, Shiro and – and Lance. Oh, God, Lance. He could have loved him, would have loved him. But there hadn’t been the time.

“Allura, Coran: promise me you’ll find them,” Keith said, “the Galra, the ones who didn’t fight here today, on either side. There’s got to be at least one that can be saved.”

“I will,” Allura said mournfully, and Keith turned off the screen that showed her in the castle when her tears became too much for him.

 _Let me be brave_ , he whispered.

 _You already are_ , Red whispered back.

Keith summoned all the reckless bravado and fierce hope he’d learned from his friends – his family – and died, standing as tall as they all had made him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith wasn’t the staying type; he just let go.

_“What’ll you do when this is over? Like, when we win?”_

_It was an optimistic question, one that now weighed heavy in Lance’s mouth, didn’t fit quite right as it had done when they first started._

_"Try and find out who I am," Keith shrugged, "try and show the universe not all Galra are monsters. I figure I owe my mother that. I mean, they're my people too, aren't they?"_

_“Well,” Lance licked his dry lips, “I hope you find what you’re looking for."_

_For a moment, the entire universe fell silent. And then:_

_“You know, I’ve never been to a beach before.” Keith said, sounding as if he meant to say something else._

_“I know a great one.” Lance smiled._

_It wasn’t a promise or an “I’ll stay”, or even an “I’ll come back”, but it was enough, it was something to hold onto._

* * *

_Who_ , Lance wonders, _did Keith ever have to love him?_

They win. Of course they win. And they go home and they’ve been missed and the world is so different and so much the same and Lance feels sick.

He's sitting at his family dinner table and he feels sick. Everyone is moving and laughing, it hasn’t been this loud for him in a long time. He doesn’t recognize the smell of his mother's cooking anymore, doesn’t feel right looking out the window and knowing he is planted firmly on the ground, he is shocked when he still strains to find Keith's voice in the mix, is teared apart again when he can't find it. These voices, now, he loves them but those voices, then, he loved them too. It feels wrong to be without them, to not even be near them.

Blue, distantly and almost like a phantom, purrs in his ear. These sorts of connections are becoming shorter and farther in between. Sometimes, Lance can't feel her at all. When he does, she is mourning. Lance sympathizes; he's mourning too.

They've missed him, this he knows. His family have missed him more than Lance had ever imagined being missed and when his mother hugs him he remembers he is alive. What an unearned miracle that is.

Lance looks around, trying to remember this place and finds himself coming up short when he can't recognize some of the faces in the photographs that line a shelf he doesn't recall ever being there near the door to the dining room. Time didn’t stand as still as he once wished it would. Lance wonders if Keith ever had any photographs taken of him, if he ever had someone looking at a baby photo and wishing he would come home safely.

Keith had never let him in, not really. Maybe he would have one day, if there had been more days. But there hadn't been. They lived the days they were given and not all of them were given the same amount of days. Sometimes life worked like that; it was something Lance had come to understand.

 _He would have left anyway_ , Lance thinks, _this place was never his home_.

Keith wasn’t the staying type; he just let go.

His family ask him about space, about his adventures, the younger ones marvel at his scars and are promptly chastised by their parents. Lance remembers the way all of Keith's scars seemed to smirk, how loving him felt like loving something stolen, it was as dangerous as touching fire with gasoline stained hands and it made Lance feel brave.

Keith was brave. Stupid and brave and beautiful and better than Lance could ever wish himself to be. But maybe, just maybe, Lance could be his own type of wonderful, the type of wonderful Shiro said Keith thought he was. Lance had been given time to make something of himself. He figures he owes it to Keith to try to do just that.

Lance looks up at the sky when everything turns quiet, his feet sink into damp sand and he manages to remember that _this_ is his home, that the stars wasn’t where he belonged but he carries the secret, satisfying knowledge that he had been among them and done great things.

 _Who_ , Lance wonders, _did Keith ever have to love him?_

Lance remembers Pidge screaming, Shiro crying, Hunk frozen still, Allura shattered with guilt and grief, Coran holding his chest as if trying to keep his now broken heart from slipping out his ribcage, and thinks: _them_. _They_ had loved him. _He_ had loved him.

Lance wonders if that had been enough. He hopes it was.

He hopes Keith died with a little happiness in his heart, with a little more joy that what he had started with.

 _Hope_. It wasn’t much, it wasn’t a promise of better things, but it was enough, it was something to hold onto.


End file.
